I am facing a strange situation today. Probably this situation may be with all the people, but I am not sure of it. I asked myself one simple question: “What is it that I know?” – I was the Forgotten Hero of My Own Movie
As I sat down to introspect, I realized that I am not aware of what I know. Of what do I have some knowledge? I began to think of these questions; the more I think the more I became aware that I am not aware of what I know. I may be having knowledge of many things. That could be true. But what are those things that I know of? My mind draws blank. There is nothing in my mind! Surprising? But this is true. I am not aware of what I know! Then allow me to put it differently. It is true that I am not aware of what I know. To put it simply and bluntly, I don’t know what I know of! Perfect situation!!!
Then what are the things of which I am aware that I do not know? Or am I aware of those things that I do not know? Of what things I do not have knowledge? It must be clear to my mind that these are the areas/issues about which I do not know. It is stupid to think that I know all. But what are those things of which I do not have any knowledge? Or what are those areas of which I do not know? Nothing is coming to my mind. I am not asking of what know of; I am asking of what I do not know. Here too my mind draws blank! I am not aware of what I do not know!
It means, and to summarize my knowledge: I am not aware of what I know. This is also true that I am not aware of what I do not know. Looks contradictory, but true.
Everything has two outcomes: True or False. There is nothing in the world which can be both. There is nothing in the entire existence that is both True and False. It is fundamentally contradictory. It is not logical. To use an example, there cannot be a living dead man. Either man is alive or he is dead. Both is an impossibility! Now allow me to tackle my knowledge situation. It is also true that I do not know what I know. It is also true that I do not know what I do not know. In other words, I have no notion of what I know; nor do I have the notion of what I do not know. How can this situation be possible? My mind refuses to come up with a convincing answer.
It is good to know that I know. It is equally good to know that I do not know. Neither is applicable in my case.
· I do not know what I know.
· I do not know what I do not know.
In other words, during the last 57 years I spent my life without knowing anything. Then what did I do for the past 57 years of life? I guess there is lies the knowledge. Let me apply this situation to my 57 years of life. The very fact that I am alive and writing now means that I have lived for 57 years of life. This fact is indisputable. Since I lived my own 57 years of life, about which all agree. There are many things that could have happened in my life. If 57 years looks like a small number, let me tell you that I have lived around 20,805 days! And it is still counting. So far so good.
I did know many things during the course of these 57 years. Do I remember all those things that I have done in these 57 years? Mind you, I was the doer. I felt happy, sad, angry and many more emotions doing things 57 years. When I think of remembering the things, I did from my birth to till date, my mind simply draws a blank, becomes void. I do not remember 57 years of my own life! This means I have forgotten. I have no knowledge of what I forgot! What I did – I do not know. What I forgot – I do not know. I was the hero of my 57 years of life. I did them all. Yet I forgot. I do not remember!
Let me view from a different perspective. It is true that I do not remember all the thing I did in my life for the past 57 years. Then these are many things during these 57 years I have not done. It was my conscious decision NOT to do them. What are all those things that I did not do? Can I write of them? Do I remember all those things which I consciously choose not to do. The more I search my mind the more I am sure that I do not remember all those things which I choose not to do!
Now the contradiction: I do not remember all those things which during 57 years, I very consciously elected to do. I did them. I had performed all those tasks. I was the hero of my movie. And I do not remember many them! What a situation! Let me draw some consolation by remembering, all those conscious decisions, the things that I did not do. The mind goes blank again!
The situation is: I do not remember the things I did, and I do not remember the things I did not do during past 57 years – both are true. This is a strange situation where the life itself becomes both true & false!
About the Author
Dr. K. Raja Gopal Reddy is a seasoned internationally qualified Insurance professional.
What you are reading here, may not answer all the questions we have, but has the absolute power of asking unsettling questions which increase the interest in the strange world, and show the contradictory wonders lying just below the surface of the commonest things of life. Look at this disturbing but beautiful thought of Friedrich Nietzsche “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him”.
Dr. Reddy can be reached at: raja66gopal@gmail.com
