What Am I

For the question “what am I” people all over the globe will answer as the owner of certain properties, a rich man, a prince, a zamindar etc. In fact, answer to ‘What am I?’ depends on what you make of you. It is dependent on you and you alone.

1983, sometime during the last week of hot Hyderabad April, I was asked by father to pack my trunk, given Rs. 1000/- to seek admission at the St. Stephen’s college, Delhi. The Andhra Pradesh Express (AP Express) a superfast train from Secunderabad JN at 7.15 am, every day. My father booked a second class sleeper ticket and dropped me at the railway station. I knew little English, no Hindi and never travelled beyond Telugu speaking area – leave out travelling alone. I was told to get off at Hazrat Nizamuddin station. My father’s friend Late Mr. Parthasarathy was to receive me who I never met earlier. 34 hours later I was standing at Hazrat Nizamuddin station waiting for some unknown person to greet. Anyway, I was received by Mr. Parthasarathy, taken to his home nearby. Mr. Parthasarathy, a lifelong bachelor, said “look Gopal, I am off to office, (used to work at MMTC) these are spare keys, make yourself comfortable. Down you will find a bus stand, catch bus route numbers 210 / 220 / 240, to go to Delhi university and return”.

I reached St. Stephens college, purchased application for admission. I could have applied for admission into any course, but I do have specific idea as to why I applied for philosophy course. I was looking for course with philosophy and psychology. I was not getting that combination. So, I applied for philosophy course. My mother told to apply for economics and father told to apply for history course – which, he thought is easy to pass. Admission selection to St. Stephens college, ranked as the best college of Asia, by Time Magazine, is on the basis of merit followed by interview. A team of professors headed by the then principal Prof. Rajpal interviewed. I answered their questions in childish manner. I was selected…thank God! I was allotted room no. O-11 Rudra south (name of hostel block) and block tutor was Dr. David Baker, an Australian working at St. Stephens. My life’s learning commenced at the St. Stephens. I used to work 18 to 20 hours a day. I passed B.A (Hon), topped Delhi university. In June 1986, the then Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, felicitated all university toppers including me, with gold medals.

One unforgettable anecdote – I was returning home for holidays. A co-passenger in second-class railway compartment asked ‘where are you coming from’; I replied – Delhi. What do you do there? he enquired. I replied that I am studying for B.A. Honours course. He further asked – B.E – Batchelor of Engineering? I replied humbly ‘Sir it is B.A and not BE. Then he asked the most damaging question – Why? You did not secure admission for BA at Hyderabad? While swallowing the insult, I excused him as he did not know St. Stephens.

Immediately after completing B.A (Hon), I applied at the Campus Law Centre (CLC), University of Delhi for admission into LLB course. I secured admission and was staying at the Jubilee Hall, a university hostel. My room number was 136. For three years I lived there. During this time, I became voracious reader. My life long romance with novels, books and authors commenced. During final year LLB, I was selected to jobs like Deputy Superintendent of Police (DSP) – CRPF, Life Insurance Corporation of India (LIC)- Assistant Administrative Officer (AAO), Pilot Officer, Indian Air Force (IAF) at the 4th Air Force Selection Board (AFSB), Varanasi – after a gruelling seven-day physical, psychological interview, the only person selected as Pilot Officer; and as Assistant Flight Purser – Air India. I went, with all selection intimations, to father, asked ‘Where do I join’? He said without hesitation ‘Join LIC’. I was 21 years old when I joined LIC.

By 1994 all academic studies came to a standstill… however by that time I had completed Fellowship professional examination in Life Insurance from the Insurance Institute of India (III), Mumbai. My mother advised me to continue academic studies and not to stop. Realizing the truth, I proceeded to complete Master of Arts (MA), secured first division. Enrolled in PhD, Delhi University, Delhi. Understanding my work schedule and place of posting, PhD guide kindly permitted to complete PhD at my pace. I took rather long time to complete PhD – completing it in 2000.

The insatiable appetite for learning made me quit LIC, venture outside India. After going abroad, I realized that I don’t know much about insurance. Though academically I was a PhD, I didn’t know professional insurance working. Hence, I enrolled and completed successfully the highest insurance professional course from the Chartered Insurance Institute (CII), London in non-life insurance to secure Fellow Chartered Insurance Institute (FCII). Professional knowledge changed destiny. I proceeded to complete FLMI from the Life Office Management Association (LOMA), USA. I became an international insurance professional. I converted chance in to choice! The highest method of learning is teaching. I got an opportunity to teach insurance to insurance professionals – dear to my heart even today.

Meanwhile, the Govt. of Bahrain nominated me to Malaysia to get qualified as Accredited Training Professional (ATP). This helped to start training insurance professionals in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Dubai, UK. Life kept pushing…and I kept going. I bought more books, reading even more. The more I read, more I realised that I don’t know anything. I romanced with books! Whatever I learnt in PhD and in practicing insurance is negligible compared to what is learnt from extensive reading. Reading automatically gave the power to express. Given any topic – I am in a position to write few meaningful lines without hesitation.

I was introduced to James Hadley Chase- WW-2 British author. He lived 99 years to write 98 bestselling books. Each of these books, I read at least thrice. His capacity to describe an ordinary thing in an extraordinary manner is god-gifted. R.K. Narayan’s Swamy and Friends, the Bachelor of Arts, Mr. Sampath; R.K. Laxman’s Tunnel of Time; Raja Rao’s Serpent and Rope, Robert Ludlum, Irving Wallace, Ken Follet, Lord Jeffrey Archer…it’s difficult to name all. Each author is marvellous and everyone had something to teach.
In India I invariably spent every Sunday afternoon at Abids – a place in Hyderabad where used books are sold on footpath. Sometimes I secured rare classics at a throwaway price – Rs 10 or Rs 20. Spent 2-3 hours selecting couple of titles, go to the Taj Mahal Hotel for coffee, followed by the Taj Mahal paan. By the time I returned home, it would be 6 pm! For me this activity makes weekend well-spent. Coffee at Taj Mahal and a Taj Mahal paan continued to be greatest weakness till date.

I was very ambitious. Ambitious for what I still have no idea. Very volatile, jumpy and quite unsettled. The turning point in life was resigning the Govt. Job. Through this action my learning multiplied. My stay abroad taught a lot. Each day was a new learning. I was observing people, their culture, language, customs, traditions, ambitions and frustrations. Every person I met in my personal and professional life left an inerasable impression. Each of them became my guru. From my taxi driver Mr. Talib, I learnt Arabic. I am only naming one of the many – as simple as a taxi driver. As I write this piece, their pictures are flashing in my mind – talking & smiling. Thank you, sirs. I know that I cannot repay you all in this life. As my religion talks of rebirth, and if I were to be reborn I’ll attempt to repay. Thank you very much, once again, sirs.

Lack of money never bothered me. I realized very early in life the fact that if you need more money then, you must possess more knowledge. That’s exactly happened. As I acquired more knowledge, (knowledge, not qualifications) my income doubled. It does not mean I did not have financial tensions. The more I read, the more money I earned. My college professors, friends and others continued imparting knowledge.

One final fact, if I do not mention, I would be doing injustice to ‘What Am I’. I was fascinated reading Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography, ‘My Experiments with Truth’. I went to Ahmedabad Navjeevan Trust (owner of Gandhiji’s works) to obtain world rights to make his autobiography into television serial. I went to Bombay, now Mumbai, I met legendary Laxmikanth-Pyarelal, music directors to ask to compose music for TV serial. I requested Mr. KSR Das, who directed over 100 Telugu, Tamil, Hindi movies, to direct the TV serial. Doordarshan telecasted it at prime time every Sunday. Magazines like the India today & Time covered this achievement. I was young, less than 30 & inexperienced. Though good work, I lost considerable money. Losing money was nothing when compared to the understanding of the autobiography. Thank you. You are the Mahatma.

Having read the James Hadley Chase, I was so fascinated with his crime & mystery concepts, I approached Gemini TV to produce and direct a 13 episode ‘Hands Up’ crime thriller in my mother tongue. What was I doing? I don’t know. What did I do? I have no clue. But every moment of life, I lived life to fullest.

If god were to appear to grant a boon… I’ll ask him for the same life, same challenges and same insatiable learning appetite. I will ask Him to unite with all people who I had met earlier…so that I shall make another sincere attempt to thank each of them.

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