Who said the verse कार्येषु दासी, करणेषु मंत्री is a mystery. I am sure each of us may have heard this verse at some point of time or the other. Some people opine that this is written by a poet Baddena, in 13th century as a part of Neeti Shastra. Baddena was a Telugu poet who wrote ‘Sumathi Shatakamu’.
| Karyeshu dasi, Karaneshu manthri; Bhojeshu mata, Shayaneshu rambha; Kshamayeshu dharithri, Roopeshu lakshmi; Satkarma yukta, Kuladharma pathni. | కార్యేషు దాసీ, కరణేషు మంత్రీ, భోజ్యేషు మాతా, శయనేషు రంభా రూపేచ లక్ష్మీ, క్షమయాధరిత్రీ, షట్కర్మ యుక్తా కుల ధర్మపత్నీ. |
The above lines describe the 6 virtues of a wife: a good wife will work like a maid, give advice like a minister, feed like a mother, please in bed like heavenly beauty Rambha, look pretty like goddess Lakshmi, and have patience like earth. I found the following variations of these lines:
| Variation 1 | Variation 2 | Variation 3 |
| कार्येषु दासी, करणेषु मंत्री, भोज्येषु माता, शयनेषु रम्भा । धर्मानुकूला क्षमया धरित्री, भार्या च षाड्गुण्यवतीह दुर्लभा ॥ | कार्येषु मंत्री करणेषु दासी रूपेषु लक्ष्मी क्षमया धरित्री । स्नेहेषु माता शयनेशु वेश्या षट्कर्मनारी कुलधर्मपत्नी ।। | कार्येषु योगी करणेषु दक्षः रूपे च कृष्णः क्षमया तु रामः । भोज्येषु तृप्तः सखदुःखमित्रम् षट्कर्मयुक्तः खलु धर्मनाथः ॥ |
The attributes that make a good wife can be said as: Karyeshu dasi – hardworking; Karaneshu mantri – brilliant; Rupecha Lakshmi – beautiful; Kshamaya dharitri – forgiving; Bhojyeshu mata – caring; Sayaneshu Rambha – romantic; Shat dharmayukta kuladharmapatni – these qualities make an Indian wife.
The above lines regarding a wife are expectations of a man from the marriage – whether he tells or not. But these verses are taken fanatically by men and abhorrently by the women.
No such duties are made for the husbands to practise their vows. This could be due to the fact that these verses in Sanskrit are mainly written by men! If the husband were to say ‘Karyeshu daasi’, the girl shows her flaming eyes with the good grand slangs of the 21st century with full confidence. The girl will sing:
‘Sarfaroshi ki thamanna ab hamare dil me hai (The desire for revolution is in our hearts) dekhana hai zor kithne bajhuyen kaathil me hai’ (Let’s see how much strength the enemy has)!
The modern girls write the qualities for their husbands thus:
| भोगेषु राजा, वचनेषु राम; चतुरस्य कृष्ण धैर्येषु कर्ण; रूपेच्छ इंद्र, कामेषु मदन; षटधर्मयुक्त मानधर्म रमण | Bhogeshu Raja, Vachaneshu Rama; Chaturasya Krishna, Dhairyeshu Karna; Roopecha Indra, Kaameshu madana; Shatdharmayuktha manadharma Ramana |
Bhogeshu Raja-Rich; Vachaneshu Rama-Honest; Chaturasya Krishna-Brilliant; Dhairyeshu Karna-Daring; Roopecha Indra-Handsome; Kaameshu madana-Romantic; Shatdharmayuktha manadharma Ramana-the dear husband.
The above lines regarding husband are expectations of a girl from the marriage – whether she tells or not. But these verses are taken fanatically by women and abhorrently by the men.
It sounds stupid and funny…how can an Indian wife expects so many qualities in one man?? Or how can an Indian husband expect so many qualities in one woman? The sun can rise from the west, but finding all qualities in one person is impossible.
Realizing this impossibility of the verses stated above, majority of the Hindu Gods have more than one wife. Similarly, there are many examples in Hindu mythology, where the wife had more than one husband. If all these ideal qualities are to be found in one husband or one wife, then there would not have been religious, mythological, historical and actual rapes, adulteries, abductions, marriages leading either to polygyny or polyandry.
About the Author
Dr. K. Raja Gopal Reddy is a seasoned internationally qualified Insurance professional.
What you are reading here, may not answer all the questions we have, but has the absolute power of asking unsettling questions which increase the interest in the strange world, and show the contradictory wonders lying just below the surface of the commonest things of life. Look at this disturbing but beautiful thought of Friedrich Nietzsche “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him”.
Dr. Reddy can be reached at: raja66gopal@gmail.com
