So long…Reddy Saab!!!

So long…Reddy Saab!!!

Gone to father’s house this morning at 6.30 am, as usual. Yes. I do miss him. In the cot he slept, in the plate he ate, in the wooden chair he sat, in the left over unused sealed medicines, in the stale smell of his closed house, in the calendar that is forever stuck on 24th March 2023, in the cobwebs hanging in the corners of the ceiling I am tirelessly hoping to find him. Where are you Reddy Saab?

I find him in his dusted Nike walking shoe which he stopped wearing 5 years ago; his feet began to become stiffer by the day. He could not fit his stiff feet in the shoe; they refused to move. Thus, fitting the feet in the shoe became a Herculean task. Now they remain quietly thrown under the bed… they are still lying there where you have put and will stay there forever till my life.

I see him forever, in his size 12 slippers and to acquire them we had to search the world shoe markets thoroughly. His feet were of size 10 only… but the age-related swelling made all the difference. The feet gradually became as if they were of size 12. About 2 years ago even they were discarded as my father’s toes became stiff and weak. He could not move his toes. They remained straight. They could not hold on to those bathroom slippers. They did not aid in walk; they became a hindrance. Continue to use them may result in a nasty life-threatening fall. With time and all elements of the nature working on them tirelessly 24*7, they became colorless; silently sit in a corner of the house, waiting for their never returning owner. For me they became you sir.

I see my father in all those clothes of his. He was the very definition of the Raymond’s gentleman…for he wore nothing but the best fabric… only the Raymond and always. Each pair of trousers, shirt that were proudly adorning him once upon a time began their intermittent wait to see light of the day. Presently they are all stacked in the dark cupboard located in the far corner of my father’s bed room.

In my growing years, I wore his old shirts. They were a bit loose then. But they looked good on me. I felt proud to wear them. I never felt as to ‘why am I forced to wear his old clothes’? Today, I wish I could wear all his clothes. But unfortunately, I cannot because over the years and with age, my physical body shrank in size, thus making the multitude of my father’s clothes practically useless for my wear. I just put few naphthalene balls between the clothes…hoping against the hope to wear them one day, before my final departure. This, the time only will tell.

That Khaki police uniform my father wore on the day of his retirement and the first police tunic are still there. He looked very dashing in those, enough to break a thousand hearts with one look. They are kept safe ensuring to expose them as less as possible to the elements, with infinite patience. In all those glorious medals he received from the distinguished dignitaries of yesteryears which lie dusted, neglected, and forlorn – in them I see him alive, smart, laughing and energetic. I know their value…because I know him. I cannot guarantee the same from my progeny.

The most beautiful couple’s photo I have ever seen on this planet earth – a beautiful young girl & a dashingly handsome boy – framed in a small steel frame of 2*3 inches. They are my parents; some 58 years ago that photo was taken at a nameless photo studio at Abids, Hyderabad. Their eyes are full of dreams, mind determined to leave a mark on this earth. See their eyes closely…healthy and bright…full of excitement and passion for life. In that passion and in that excitement, I see you, my sir.

All the utensils in the kitchen, majority were lying unused and partially dusted since my mother’s death in 1996. The remaining few will remain forever unused from 24th March 2023, till eternity. When, in this eternity, will we dine together in those steel plates? They are gathering dust sir… I washed them this morning… as I do not know when you will call me for dinner again. Those cookers, kadai, spoons, glasses… on each of them either your name or my mother’s name or my grandfather’s name are written. I am blessed to have them sir and I will continue to miss you in each of them.

The then president of India in 1999 gave you a citation and a medal for your distinguished services rendered to this great nation through the police department of the then united Andhra Pradesh. But medals are only medals. Like all other medals, you have painstakingly earned, this medal too faded in color with time. I clean it every day, trying to touch that proud man holding the citation – given by the President of India. There is no ‘forever’ sir. All I can say is that I shall clean the medal and the framed citation till my life. I feel a lot prouder than you when I clean them. I am thankful to the eternity for giving me the honor of cleaning it. What more can I ask for from you sir?

The mother cat and the kittens are making huge noise every day. This has been the case for the past two month’s sir. The fact is that they are demanding to know the whereabouts of that man who used to keep fresh cow’s milk in the kitchen within their reach. Every day you used to say sadly that you forgot to keep the milk in the fridge!

The dried coconuts from those two trees still fall with a huge noise. So far, they have not broken anyone’s head in their fall. They seem not to understand the fact that you have moved forward in life. These dried organic coconuts still want the oil to be extracted so that it can be applied to your body. You and my mother together planted those trees with love and care. Today they stand so tall that they seem to be touching you both in heaven.

I am grateful to you Reddy Saab, for being a good father and more than that a good friend. The fathers I knew and told to worship had many defects. The defect of Dhritarashtra of the Mahabharata is blind love for his children. Lord Vasudeva’s defect was to be in jail. Dasharatha of the Ramayana was a weak man to listen to the ill advises of his wife. You are that father who does not have the defects of the fathers I am told to worship sir. It was you who built my life. Whatever I desired, you gave it to me on a platter. Cost & affordability were foreign to you before your ‘Babu Gopi’. Most importantly you gave me the best education of my life. I search for that father there in your house every day sir.

Frankly sir, I did not miss my mother’s departure till date. But your departure shattered me & my life. The life looks lifeless and meaningless. I do not know whether we will meet again in this eternity. Or whether we will meet at all. If we were to meet again in some unknown asbestosis world far away, allow me to be your ‘Babu Gopi’ once again. That is all I beg from you sir. In the meantime, allow me to scrape through the life residue in your sweet memories, with inexplicable agony in my heart whenever I see/touch all those things that once belonged to you. So long…Reddy Saab.


About the Author

Dr. K. Raja Gopal Reddy is a seasoned internationally qualified Insurance professional.

What you are reading here, may not answer all the questions we have, but has the absolute power of asking unsettling questions which increase the interest in the strange world, and show the contradictory wonders lying just below the surface of the commonest things of life. Look at this disturbing but beautiful thought of Friedrich Nietzsche “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him”.

Dr. Reddy can be reached at: raja66gopal@gmail.com

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