NO WOMAN WANT TO BE A MOTHER

Mother, Mother’s love. In Hindi we have a super statement ‘Maa ka kokh mein Nau mahine’, ‘Maa ka doodh’, Maa is god. Mother’s love is more powerful than god’s blessings. Innumerable emotional stories are told of mother’s love in our culture.

I disagree with the above interpretation. I feel that in the name of mother’s love, we are subjugating women & forcing them to eternal slavery. Show me a mother who enters in to the kitchen without thinking twice! Every mother will tell herself “What? Both morning to evening I have no other option but to cook?” That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you!

After the child birth, typically, the mother stopes living. She is compelled by the society to say ‘whatever I have is the child’. Thus, a mother is confined to kitchen & child care. A baby stays in mother’s womb for 9 months…but it is biology. If there were to be a womb in man, then he would have given birth to a child. This biological fact cannot make a woman either great or a slave.

Human being is an animal and hence allow me to take few examples from the animal world. In these examples mother is not glorified.

• A tiger, after cub birth, it eats its own cubs due to hunger. Cubs run away from mother.
• Holy cow – calf drinks milk from the udders of its mother. Few months later if the calf were to go to its mother for milk, it would get a kick!
• Take birds – after feeding the baby birds for few weeks, the mother bird attacks with its beak to make the baby birds fly away.

Therefore, I state that among humans the concept of holy infallible mother is created by the society to subjugate women. Women are intelligent & powerful. All enslaving mother stories are fiction.

Let us take the example of women in classics. In the Mahabharat Kunti mother of the Pandavas, enjoyed her life. Before her marriage she had given birth to Karna. She discarded him in a river. Even after her marriage the continued to enjoy her life with other men. She conceived Dharmaraj, Bhim, Arjun, Nakul & Sahadev through different fathers. Having a husband did not limit her, as she was free. She was not confined to children or kitchen. She lived her womanhood.

Lord Krishna of Maha-Bhagavat. Interpret him from a women’s perspective. He had 16008 girlfriends – married, unmarried, young and old. Married women left their husbands, unmarried ones lost their virginity and the old women relived their womanhood. These women were free. Motherhood did not confine them. They enjoyed life.

Draupadi of Mahabharat may have said ‘Look, I need five husbands. I want to enjoy life.’ Forget the reasoning of Mahabharat, anyone can offer reasons. Fact is, Draupadi had fun with five men. She was an epitome of liberty and freedom. She danced her life. By creating the concept of motherhood, husband hood, the present-day women are subjugated. She has no life of her own. If the husband smiles, she smiles. If husband cries, she cries. Either Kunti or the 16008 women or Draupadi did more than that.

Look at Ramayan’s Sita marriage. She called 100 tough thugs for a contest – swayamvar. She chose the strongest, handsomest, the richest, the ablest and the most powerful man as husband. When her husband or his brother could not satisfy her appetite, she went to Lanka. Interpretations can be contested. Whatever be the reason, it is a fact that she was in Lanka with Raavan. How she went there is not the issue – You can give yours and I can give mine. Fact is a fact. It is said that she was imprisoned in a garden. Tell me, who goes to a boyfriend to sit under a tree and cry? She is also a mother and a woman. She enjoyed her life.

Now the mothers-in-law of Sita – Kausalya, Sumitra & Kaikeyi. These women are strong with pragmatic outlook and protected their interests. The way Draupadi shared five husbands, these three women shared one man. That was the freedom they had. Is it that Maharaj Dashrath married thrice or the three women chose to have the same man? Look at it from the perspective of a woman. These women are great, intelligent and enjoyed the same king.

Thus, we do not find the concept of a subjugated mother in the Hindu shastras. Two women enjoyed their life with Lord Balaji. Unfortunately, present day women cannot have two husbands and have that freedom. All women mentioned above are also mothers and loved their children. But this did not confine them to kitchen; they did not sacrifice their lives as modern Indian woman.

Sita is powerful. She made two people fight like mad dogs – Raavan and Ram – to choose the best. Thus, Ram has two tests. 1) to win the daughter of Janaka. 2) To gain his wife back. Twice he fought and won. Powerful man. But who is intelligent? Ram or Sita? Many wars were fought between kingdoms & nations because of a woman. Our Shastras declare women as bad! On the contrary, women are intelligent. She could make people fight, dance to her tunes.

Take Lord Ganesh – powerful and yet powerless before his two wives. They played with him and shared the same man. They had the brains.

All these instances show, according to Shastras, that women are powerful & capable. They are not weak. Interpret history from her perspective. The later interpretations of woman in our society project them of having no choice either in choosing a husband or in living life after becoming a mother. Do you think her heart only beats for her children and no one else? Open your eyes!

The entire dharma shastra history projects man as weak and without brains and the contrary about women. In 1857, the so called first revolution of India, the Rani of Jhansi proves her intelligence. None from her husband’s side appear to be intelligent or had brains. She had the Shakti and the imagination of adopting a child. Are we not putting the women down with mother’s love?

In Hinduism we have the concept of tri-murthi, Brahma, Vishnu and Maheswar. The tri-murthi are not at all powerful. It is Lakshmi who had all the money, Vishnu was just hanging around with her. It is Saraswati who had all the knowledge, Brahma is only a husband. Parvathi has all shakti, Maheshwar was only a beggar! Women are very powerful – they had money, education, power – everything. But male chauvinistic society made tri-murti as powerful. If these 3 women were to take divorce, the tri-murti are nothing. These women are also mothers.

Because of these reasons, I disagree with the concept of mother’s love, emotions and mother’s status. We are subjugating mothers; making them weak and forcing her to be a slave with the sole intention of securing superiority. Mother? Why would any woman want to become a mother? Motherhood is biological. Looking at the weak men, I would rather say I am better off as a woman than a man.

---