RAMAYANA’s RAMA – AN EPITOME OF BAD HUSBAND

This morning I wished daughter Parvathi. Let me tell later what I wished and allow me to state why I wished her. She completed her studies, settled in life with a good job with accommodation, bought a car and she is 24 years old! As a responsible father, I wished the next best i.e., she should get a husband like Lord Rama, the hero of Ramayana, the Purshottam – the best man on planet earth. 

She said ‘Stop papa. What rubbish are you talking’? 

I was speechless for her rude soulless remark, meekly asked ‘What happened Parvathi’?

‘Do you know when is International Women’s day papa’?

‘I don’t know but it is sometime in March’. I replied. 

She explained: ‘It is on 8^th March. And you are wishing me, the way you wished, before International women’s day! I am not accepting those wishes sir’. 

Hassled and pained, I asked hesitatingly ‘Young lady! Have I done any mistake in wishing? I am sure you can see my good intentions’? 

Mercilessly, without paying heed to her father’s pain she said ‘Yes, you did commit a blunder by wishing me to get a husband like Rama’. 

‘This is quite different thinking. Can you tell explain’? I requested.

She explained in this manner: Indian people learned the inexcusable crime of female infanticide from Ramayana. If a female child is born, kill or throw away in municipal dustbin or in gutter or leave on temple steps. These are learnt by people of India from the Ramayana. 

‘How can you say that’? I asked horrified.

Ignoring me completely she continued – Somebody threw away Sita – left her to die. She became the daughter of Mother earth. Have you forgotten sir? And she was found by king Janaka who adopted her. Much for a female child in that classic! Taking queue from the Ramayana, people still throw away their girl child. No law can change the Ramayana. Therefore, do not wish for a husband like Lord Rama for me. 

This conversation before International women’s day doesn’t mean I am a misandrist or dislike the Ramayana. Even if it is not International Women’s day, I would have said things I said. Why I refused to take your blessings – husband with the qualities of Lord Rama? The Ramayana is male chauvinistic. Let’s take Lord Rama’s father King Dasrath. The yagna he performed for having children was the ‘Putra (son) Kameshti’ not Putri (daughter) Kameshti.  He wanted sons not daughters. Don’t you think this is sufficient reason for the Indian society to believe only in male progeny? The fire god emerged, gave pot full of nectar for queens to drink – infertility treatment – to get male children. 

‘Interesting young lady. Do you have any other reason to refuse blessings? Continue’. I encouraged. 

The Ramayana taught men to doubt wife. There are many bride burnings & woman burnings in India. Every time husband demands Agni pariksha – Fire Examination – for silly reasons, from wife. You did not bring dowry – dowry burning / agni pariksha. Not employed and earning money? Wife burning / agni pariksha. Do you know from where Indians learn this? Is it not from the Ramayana sir? This is my interpretation. Therefore, do not wish to have a husband like Lord Rama. 

Husband and wife doubt each other and patch up. Husband doubts the character of wife and vice versa and they patch up. Its okay. I do not wish to have a husband like Lord Rama who believes in rumours. Instead of sitting across to discuss, Rama left his wife in the woods! A washer man said something and Rama’s belief in his wife Sita is washed away! Left her in the forests to fend herself? I learnt from you that marriage is based on trust and understanding.

Another reason for refusing to take your blessings is this: Ramayana taught how to separate husband and wife. Brother Laxman wanted to accompany Rama and Sita to forest. But don’t you think it is the responsibility of the elder brother to admonish younger brother & say – ‘Hey! Young man! Sit at home with your wife. Enjoy life’! Instead Lord Rama took Laxman with him and separated Laxman and his wife for years! Unable to bear this separation Laxman’s wife Urmila slept for 14 years!!! A beautiful life wasted.

Ramayana is against love. That’s why I don’t want your blessings. 

Falling in love is not a crime sir. Anybody can fall in love and with anybody! Scores of young women fell in love with Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh khan. Similarly, scores of young men fell in love with Rani Mukherji and Madhubala. Nothing wrong with it. People wrote letters with blood expressing love. When Amitabh Bachchan received such a letter, he travelled all the way to meet his fan, requested her not to do this. He explained the young lady. What harm did Shurpanakha do? All she did was to fall in love! It is not a crime! Instead of explaining Shurpanakha that she should not fall in love, they cut off her nose and ears! Do you think her brother Ravana will keep quite when his dear sister’s nose and ears are cut off? She may have wanted to kill Sita / Kill Laxman / she may have wanted to carry away Rama. What Laxman, Sita or Rama should have done? They should have sat with Shurpanakha to explain – Beautiful lady, this is wrong. You cannot do this. Rather than doing it, they chose to cut off her nose and ears! That’s why Ramayana is against love. 

Because of these reasons, I refuse to take your blessings to have a husband like Lord Rama. I am sorry to reply rudely over the phone dad.

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