Where Am I

Dr. K Raja Gopal ReddyMy profession, passion took me across the seas…showing half the world. I am neither a traveller nor an ardent sightseer – but my profession played a great role in travels. Everything must go to its moorings, the routes. The bird that flies away from its nest at sunrise must return to its at sunset! The is the Nature’s law! I returned to my moorings i.e. Hyderabad. When I left Hyderabad 25 years ago, it was a part of Andhra Pradesh. On return, I was told that Hyderabad is now a part of Telangana – not Andhra Pradesh! Thus, on my return, I entered for the first time a state called Telangana! Everything has changed! Thus, the question Where Am I is answered physically!

On a serious note, Where Am I? I have landed at that station of life where the distinction between success and failure is blurring… in fact, they do not matter! The better expression would be – there is neither success nor failure – Failure is absence of success…that’s all!

Where Am I? I am at that stage of life where health becomes more important than wealth. I am on that stage of life where I had the privilege of witnessing the rarest of the rare occurrence! What people between 1347 to 1350 AD – had witnessed – I am witnessing today. Those 3 years, 675 years ago, the people were given a chance to choose between life and property by Bubonic Plague. As expected people had chosen property to life! As was reported in various Italian and French Middle Age journals that over 250 million people died due to the Bubonic Plague! By the time they realized that property has no importance, many lives were lost. Today, I am experiencing the lives of those ancients here and now. Unfortunately, the Governments and the people are of single opinion that property is more important. They are committing the same mistake which was committed 675 years ago! By the time they realize it will be too late! People won’t learn. There is where I am, witnessing the mayhem.

Dr. K Raja Gopal ReddyI am also witnessing the world passing by me! People running. Everybody is busy communicating. Everybody busy winning. They have no time to breathe – let alone eating and drinking. I am witnessing helpless millions busy running nowhere. This is where I am.

The top educational qualifications, professional recognitions which I earned during the course of five decades are of least importance. This recognition dawned! This is where I am.

Religion is an intoxication. Promising life beyond life. Politics is yet another intoxication. Promising an unreal life within this life. Both promise, none delivers. I am sitting here today understanding the imperfections of both! You may ask…why am I not making the people understand this truth? Please tell me first…why the hell should I? This is where I am.

Competition – we always compete with others. This is the mantra the society gave us. In the ladder of life, who is first and who is last? When you look up, invariably you will find someone up there. You are competing with him. You are jealous of him. You forget the fact that the ladder is not straight but it is round! Nobody is competing with anybody. Competition is impossible. Each of us is unique. We all are going on our respective paths of our life. I stay here with this realization. This is where I am.

Children, family, relations, friends – on none I have a right. It is wrong to think that we have a right on our children. It is true – it is because of the parents’ children came into the world. For example, I may be the path for their arrival to the world. They are my children. Therefore, I have an authority on them. I own them. It is like – the road has let a car pass through from place A to place B. It is because of the road that the car has reached its destination. This does not mean road owns that car. If the road says it being the owner of the car, as the car is delivered through the road, the road is committing the same mistake as the parents across the globe…as the children are delivered through the parents, they own them. Both arguments are illogical. The children have a mind of their own and aspirations too. In retrospect, when did I stay with my parents? They may have said, I am owned by them…who cares? I am here with this understanding. This is where I am.

Talking poverty, maintaining poverty, imitating poverty, pretending poverty is more expensive. In other words, poverty is very expensive. Ms. Sarojini Naidu’s famous saying … ‘Keeping Mahatma Gandhi poor is very expensive’. I am here with this understanding. This is where I am.

Millions of people lived before… maybe billions. They had the same ambitions as I am having today. They had the same families as I have today. They had the same property ownerships as I enjoy today. They had aspirations. They all went into oblivion. They all wanted to etch their indelible mark on the sands of time… yet faded into nothingness. No one remembers them today. I know I will not be remembered…will fade into yesterday. I am here with this understanding. This is where I am.

It is said wealth, wine, women/men are inescapable intoxications … described as worst intoxications. In my opinion and worse than all the known intoxications – is the intoxication of hope. Everyone has hope! We keep hoping against the hope. We always think tomorrow will become a beautiful day… the cuckoos will start singing. Tomorrow the sun will rise in the west. Tomorrow all flowers will bloom. Tomorrow we will have lots of food to eat and many beautiful women to look. We hope against the hope! This is the understanding. This is where I am.

The world is shit. Shit is a common word and everyone knows. It is not simply the holy shit. It is a holy stinking fucking shit. We are permanently engrossed, duped and perennially recycled in this shit. This is the realization. This is where I am!


About the Author

Dr. K. Raja Gopal Reddy is a seasoned internationally qualified Insurance professional.

What you are reading here, may not answer all the questions we have, but has the absolute power of asking unsettling questions which increase the interest in the strange world, and show the contradictory wonders lying just below the surface of the commonest things of life. Look at this disturbing but beautiful thought of Friedrich Nietzsche “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him”.

Dr. Reddy can be reached at: raja66gopal@gmail.com