After repeated knocking on the window, later on the door, after calling him aloud over 10 times and 15 minutes later, he slowly opened the door. There is an agreed emergency entry into the house, but unfortunately it was latched from inside. Otherwise, I would not have waited for 15 long minutes anxiously. The distance between the bed room and the main door to be opened is about 6 meters!
Finally, after a long wait, the door was unlatched and partially opened. Walking 6 meters, for this gentleman, seemed to be a Himalayan task. He was panting, struggling to take few breaths lung full, and in every attempt he was miserably failing. Before I could say anything, he collapsed heavily with a thud on the trestle next to the door.
While opening the doors widely, switching on the tube lights I quietly stole a glance at him. At six feet height and in his 84th year he looked fragile as a baby. He has baby like soft hands and well-shaped fingers which looked as if they had lost their pinkish color recently. His feet are rounded with age, has no balance whatsoever. His feet do not have the capacity to grip the floor! The finger nails and toe nails appeared to be properly trimmed. Two-day old white stubble, listless eyes are noticeable. The bones and the joints in his body are giving him away, refusing to support his body mass. His hair is well trimmed, and the person who did his last hair trimming did a good job. He sat on the trestle, hands loosely put on it, head bent, eyes closed… he is apparently very far away from the surroundings and me. He was already in deep sleep!
I gently touched him, shook him and on my doing so he opened his eyes. I smiled, suggested to lie down. Questioned – why should you not complete your sleep? It is only 7:30am. Probably another hour of sleep will do good. He did lie down on the trestle, smiled very weakly and said ‘I do not want to miss you.” As I began replying ‘I shall come back in the evening’… he said weakly ‘No one visits me except you’… saying so he fell into deep sleep once again. In that huge house all I can hear is heavy breathing, very deep breathing, this is that kind of breathing which we observe in young children – it is not the chest, but the stomach that goes up & down rhythmically with breathing. As I sat there opposite to him, watching him, my mind began to wander in to the past.
He is and was a handsome man; academically well-read person; a very brave man – a hitherto unwitnessed bravery in history of man can be witnessed in him; yet a family man – a loving husband and a loving father to his children. He is that man to who the world came, he never went to the world; he is a man who believed in the capacity of man to become a superman and God. He is a talkative man, has the power of hypnotizing anyone with his talk. He is a man of a million postal letters; his letters are more frequent than the whatsApp messages which we receive these days! Today he is lying down in his coma like deep sleep, helpless. Even in his helplessness he maintained his innate dignity.
As I stared at this man in his deep slumber with heavy breathing, I could not help but noticing the white two-day stubble. He is the personification of an English gentleman for he believed in shaving every day. I saw him using Ashok, Prince, Super-max razor blades. I saw him using the ‘Godrej shaving Round’ and a shaving alum for after shave! He is a diehard fan of ‘Pond’s’ talcum powder and for a very long time the ‘Hamaam’ bathing soap. His exemplary personality is before my eyes. Every evening at 4:30 pm it is mandatory for this gentleman to wash his face before the evening tea.
Some 10 minutes passed by. I was completely lost in my own thoughts. He suddenly opened his eyes, saw me sitting asked apologetically “how long did I sleep?” He tried to sit up. I prevented him physically saying “You sleep sir. Rest well. I will come at 4 pm. We shall have evening tea together”.
Devoted husband of my extremely beautiful mother; dearest son of his loving father late Shri. Balayya; a man who studied M.A., LLB in those days; the first Indian Police Service (IPS) officer from the united Karimnagar district; a man of extreme intelligence; an eloquent speaker; a man who knew only how to help and finally my closest friend, mentor, advisor, creator, father and God blinked eyes uncomprehendingly.
I repeated once again what I said earlier very slowly, deliberately and with loving patience. Further I advised him to rest well, have food & daily medicines; touched fragile shoulders gently, positively assuring of our tea meeting at 4:00 pm that evening. He seems to have understood what I said; in his sleepy state he asked looking directly into my eyes “Babu! Come at 4 pm for tea. I will wait”. As he closed his eyes, a tear drop fell from his left eye on to the pillow. The pillow immediately absorbed that drop very thirstily.
I slowly got up, switched off the lights, adjusted the speed of the ceiling fan, closed the mesh doors ajar, descended from the stairs. I did not know that it would be my last conversation with my father and last sight of him alive. He is a man of his word and honor. He valued his promises and honor more than anything else.
Every day, for the past 365 days, I wash my face, get ready for the evening rendezvous, wait for you, my father. The strong ‘Gemini’ tea dust, sugar and milk are ready. On the two burner ‘Laxmi’ gas stove the tea utensil is ready to brew the tea. I also kept a bottle of Bisleri water for you, as I know your habit of having water before tea. By the way my honorable sire, I also kept a clove handy for you to have immediately after the tea. The days became weeks, and weeks turned into months and months in to a year… do you know it is exactly 4 pm now and I am waiting with infinite patience & love sir.
What I would not gladly give away to have a cup of tea with you in this life sir! If I were to die without the fulfilment of my only wish, I am sure that we will surely have our evening tea in heaven. It is ‘unbelievable’ that you are no more on this planet earth. Yet I shall unfailingly wait at 4 pm every day for our evening tea. What life is this? Which has made you and I into father & son? Before I even begin to enjoy this relationship, the life has snatched you away. I do not know If I shall see the sun-rise tomorrow. But If I were to see, it means I shall wait for you to join me for our 4 pm tea. This was your word and I am aware that your word is your honor.
Your memories are strongest in me. The monthly pujas in your honor are nothing compared to my love. For my children, you are grand-father, and hence they could not know you well. For them, you and I will become framed photographs on the walls, and may be garlanded once in a year. Today is 24th March, 2024. With today these monthly pujas will stop. We will perform yearly ceremonies either together or individually. I do not even know if we all brothers & families will meet again. Our lives have taken a different course for each one of us. Though we all are your sons, we are all are different. But I am sure, you will understand that our love for each other remain forever. Having said the above, I am asking you sire… ‘Father, come for 4 pm tea. I am waiting’.
About the Author
Dr. K. Raja Gopal Reddy is a seasoned internationally qualified Insurance professional.
What you are reading here, may not answer all the questions we have, but has the absolute power of asking unsettling questions which increase the interest in the strange world, and show the contradictory wonders lying just below the surface of the commonest things of life. Look at this disturbing but beautiful thought of Friedrich Nietzsche “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him”.
Dr. Reddy can be reached at: raja66gopal@gmail.com