Today is Father’s 1st Death Anniversary – as per the Hindu calendar. It is said by Pujari Shashank that there is an Extra Month (Adhika Maasam in Telugu) and as a consequence the anniversary is being performed today i.e. on 11th April, 2024! There is a division of opinion among brothers about the subsequent yearly death ceremonies of father – should we follow the Gregorian calendar or the Hindu calendar?
· If the Hindu calendar is to be followed, then it would a day after the Ugadi (Telugu New Year) every year. To explain it clearly let me take this year’s Ugadi which was celebrated on 9th April,2024 Tuesday. Hence father death anniversary is on 11th April, 2024 Thursday.
· On the other hand, if the Gregorian calendar is to be followed then the yearly death ceremony will be on 24th March, every year. Father died on 24th March, 2023 around 1:30 / 2 pm.
Ceremony / Celebration / Offering Pindam etc. are not correct words to describe this yearly affair. I would prefer to call as yearly remembrance as it was on 24th March this event has happened. Remembrance is the right word and I have daily remembrance of him. Even this expression also appears inferior. You remember somebody, only if you have forgotten them. Hence the saying “Yes. I remember him now”. When I have not forgotten father, the issue of remembrance does not arise. He is always there with me and in me. His smile, voice, talk and HIM are in my heart every moment of my life. When He is me then where is the question of remembering?
How true is the statement “The siblings have only one thing in common – Parents”. Other than the truth that we are born to the same parents there is nothing among us similar. Though we are blood related, even that blood is not the same! Each of the sibling has a different blood group! We the brothers are different in our thoughts, (no two think alike) education, profession, reactions to various challenges, food habits, tastes, and to put it simply we are strangers and shall remain so in every way. The differences among us are ‘ad-infinitum’. Hence, I do not find fault with anyone if they think & behave differently. My brothers say – we should observe father’s death anniversary every year according to Hindu calendar. And I say it must be on 24th March every year!
This means my father blessed one to have two death ceremonies every year! I am a selfish man and hence, I wish no other father in the world (including I) should have this honor! My siblings are also fathers. But I do not wish to relax my selfishness even for them. Whether my selfishness comes true or not is a different matter. What is wrong in being selfish?
I have few questions about the death ceremonies. Are we celebrating our birth anniversaries that is should warrant celebration of death anniversary? In so far, I remember my father’s birth day and marriage day are on the same day, though of course, different years:
Birth Day: 13th June 1941 and Marriage Day: 13th June 1962
During my stay with parents – after class 10, I was only a summer holiday guest as I was staying in hostels – I have never seen father celebrating his birth / marriage day. He said many a time that “Every day is your
birthday”. Hence celebrate every single day. Even his attitude towards various festivals was the same i.e., ‘Every day is a festival’. Thus, he believed in celebrating life every day.
Probably, I have inherited this quality from my father and I believe in celebrating life. What can be a bigger celebration than life? My father celebrated every moment of his life. He wanted that this celebration must go on. Must never be stopped. So much so he wished for his exit from life in his sleep, while celebrating life and of course the Almighty granted that wish.
I follow my father. Inherited qualities are impossible to erase. No birthday, no festival, no anniversaries are celebrated in my life. For me, Life is a sing song, a festival and a never-ending celebration. Even being a good teacher is of no use when it comes to teaching these qualities to children, for qualities can never be taught. Hence, I pray that my children to inherit these qualities.
In view of the above, in my being soul and life, if there were to be an anniversary for my father, I believe that it will be on the 24th March. The same is being followed for my mother, Grand Father, Grand Mother and Brother. I wonder, what can be more intoxicating drug in the world than the death drug?
About the Author
Dr. K. Raja Gopal Reddy is a seasoned internationally qualified Insurance professional.
What you are reading here, may not answer all the questions we have, but has the absolute power of asking unsettling questions which increase the interest in the strange world, and show the contradictory wonders lying just below the surface of the commonest things of life. Look at this disturbing but beautiful thought of Friedrich Nietzsche “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him”.
Dr. Reddy can be reached at: raja66gopal@gmail.com
